god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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