I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
