It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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