addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
