Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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