Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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