you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
