she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
