you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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