It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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