I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
