why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
