Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
