Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize