The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
