there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
