Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
