BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
