I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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