He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
