You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
