I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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