Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
