Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize