is your mom at the bar?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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