Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
