Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
