hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Will you blow on my dice?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
