I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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