he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
