69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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