the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
