If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
