Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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