My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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