It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
