Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My vagina is officially offended.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize