I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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