quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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