You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
