The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
