I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
