I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
