WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
