mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I think i got beer on your cat.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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