We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
