God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize