I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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