Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
