i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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