i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
