Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
