NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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