ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
