He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize