I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
