Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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