Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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