one two three fourrrrnication!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
